My Brick Wall…Never Seemed Able
To Erode…Strong He Was…

Always There…Present…Always.
Flawlessly On Time…To Cheer Me On Silently
Or to
Hold My HAND…even in my Teenage Years…He grasped me…While Crossing the Street

A Colossus of Intellect…and Passion for his Country and Culture…and
With one soft Spot…My Mother…

A Romantic Showing What Love Should Be Like Despite its…Bump Roads and Potholes

He…Coveted me...and Bubbled me within a Protective Shelter…expecting Nothing But the Best….

My Hero…My Father…
We Had our Clashing Because of our Mirrored Characters.
Poets…Passionately Angry…and Arduously Hard-headed

What I Wouldn’t Give To Hear Him Laugh…
Or See…Him Angry…or
Laying there…Watching TV…with books on the other side of his Bed
Because Like Me…He Too...Felt Empty…Without Love…For She
Needed momentary freedom and still she wears the ring…he gave her.

My Bulletproof Mastermind…Not Once…Needing to Lift a Finger IN his Presence
Free was I, From harassment and broken hearts…Because
Without my Teacher…

I Have Messed Up…Mistakes Trying to Learn My Lessons…stumbling on chalk
And ending with clown faces…always frowning…


My Hole that I Can’t Fill…I Keep Searching…for some kind of something to Heal
This Vas Deferens between my chamber and the atrium…yet it makes no difference…
I Simply End Up…gushing more Blood.

The Irony…I Keep Trying to Stitch it up…End Up Chopping it up…I Trust No One.
Fear…for My Protector is no longer there…I am Angry.

Or So I Seem…Just aching Uncontrollably.
Wishing For Just One…to partake in a miniscule role of Honesty and Sincerity...and that’s where it all Goes Wrong for Me…someone chastise me!

For My Professional Advisor…is not able to be here with me…for he too had pain…
And now he no longer aches…he remains free.

I too cry randomly…no one also understanding why…my Pillow become sponges and I
Squeeze them…even more because I don’t want anyone to know.

The Immensity in which i…Suffer…Due to a pain I’ve had for 3 years straight…three hundred and sixty FIVE days…multiplied.

Since the Second of January…
Repetitively Failing at love because the what I really need not one can touch.
Or compare because he is not there…

No Man has been able to hold me down…as artfully as he could.
Or Cheer me on and Push me as he would…
Or Make Me Feel as Beautiful when I felt…Ugly…

Not One…mad me feel as special…as my Daddy…
So I struggle…emotionlessly seemingly cold and empty…bitterly permafrosted…
I don’t want their Pity…as his ring hangs on my chest along with abuelo’s chain on my neck

A Warrior…Willing to keep Fighting for what’s Best for me and mine’s for I find not the time…to fall to my knees and cry and plead…to he who has blessed me the opportunity to meet love from a figure like his.

I Push forth with him in mind…He Wouldn’t want me to Resist what I Deserve to Push for.

The World is yours I can hear it…Bel Negress….he’d call me.
Through him I have this gift…and Despite the
Nouns Verbs Subjects Various Predicates…
I Can’t Fill…the Open Wound…
Which Sucks in the Ink…and Papered Emotions…

I Can’t Find the One Note to my Sheet Music…

…the Brick Wall…to keep me feeling safe in
…the teacher willing to show me what love is
…the professor who can lecture about life’s purpose
…the bulletproof mastermind that can show me no matter how things happen life can be perfect
…the hero who knows an innocent life or mind is always worth saving…

I simply can’t find it…

Filling a hole with those…who DEEM and SHOW Themselves…worthless…

I Remain Empty…and Hurting…
For it cannot fill it…permanently…
As I Keep Going…hoping that despite pushing it all to the back of my mind
I Don’t end up forgetting…

That No Matter the Age…I Remain…Daddy’s Little Princess.