I'm scared of the future because of the past that haunts me. Going thru the motions after being given a 2nd chance Is tougher than I thot. Being told that what I went thru was a total waste Is making me fall back Into old habits that never die. What should I do to keep my head & mouth out of the gutter?
Trying to prove that I can make this whole thing work Is getting the best of my abilities. As the days goes on the temptation of failing rises to the point of my xtinction, unwanted help adds fuel to the fire. I'm reaching up for air bt nobodys there to give me strenght & additional guidance. Depression gets bigger when negative baggage gets under my skin, It's getting out of control for me 2 handle. The devils laughing & I cant shut him up, his words are peircing my body slowly. I'm digging to see whats left Inside, bt I cant tell If there's anything In the tank thats worth using.
Finding doors of expierence are shutting quicker then I xpected, I gota try something before Its to late & I'm back 2 square one. After all the things I've ben putting up with In the past Is my only source of motivation to keep my big ass goin. I can see a small light In the distance bt Its 2 blurry to point out what It Is thats waiting for me at the end. Thinkin of what It could be Is distracting & getting my hopes up for failure, that's easy to use bt Its not what I need.