beep go my phone

it 1:15 am and Im home, half sleep but thinking of you

ive just recieved a text and it reads

"i wanna see you tonight"

a huge smile come upon my face as i get dressed, and although i know it wrong i wanna see you.

it feels like its been forever and an eternety since i've felt you inside of me.....

but then suddenly i pause, and visions of you and Her pop into my head, it is then Im reminded im the other woman....

as i ride down I-85 to your house, the same house that has pictures of you and Her around, all in your bedroom, the same room you make love to her in, but fuck me, Im pissed....

repressed by my thoughts,

from the oh youre just my friend stage, to the kissing other females when Im around, to the inviting other females to public events like youre trying to pretend to the world that there is no me and you, and yet if i even mention some other nigga its a problem, lol im just a fucking game to you,huh

if so we must be playing chutes and ladders because everytime i climb up, you knock my ass back down the slide...

i am on a roller coaster of emotions....

whether to love you or not is my question?

and its not fair, because i have no protection....

for my heart....

i allow you constantly to abuse me, not physically but mental

and just like cherish sings of amenisa, i wish my feeling for you would perish....

so by the time arrive to your house im still pissed, but it seems as though as soon as you open the door, all my ill feelings for you are dimissed..... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

WHY DO I CONSTANTLY AND OBEDIANTLY PUT MY HEART AT RISK?

now some may think im crazy

others may think im blind

but i CANNOT control these feelings for you

i CANNOT run

i WILL NOT hide

for those split seconds you are mine.....

i tell myself like ive told my self many a times that this is it

that im done with you

my mind being the one trying to convince my heart im being played like a damn

FOOL!

As you touch me in all the right places....

my mind goes crazy

and my heart now has the power

kissing me all over as you slide inside of me

making me forget.....any and every doubt i have about you

in this moment in time its just me n you

when we make love its like the battle of the minds

you stroke me as to say do you love me

my body repling yes....and as i melt in your ams its evident the your winning

your body continuely stroking me

your lips kissing me all over

you gripping me tight

asking me....mind, body, soul.....are you mine and other questions

me giving you a million answers

the room is spinning

until....

its over

silence flushs over the room

and all the doubt i had before comes back as i lay in your bed beside you

i watch you as you sleep....

trying to figure out why is it that you treat me this way

constantly ignoring the feelings i have for you

the same feeling that everyone finds so evident to see?!?!

my fantasy of you and i is demolished

as the truth awakes me in the form of the sun

a rerun of the same scene....

one that will surely come next week

i.....walk out the house.....past all the reminders of my postion.....

.........the other woman....