I put a mask on wen the goddess come by 2 conversate, talkn to them wit limitations blockin my true colors. I'm scared 2 reveal the real me bt around the goddesses that i've connected with I take it off, cuz they no wat i really look like on the inside. Comfort zones close as new faces approache, i feel safe wen the mask is on. Walking thru the halls of higher education it never comes down untill im n famliar territory with the ppl that no who i am beyond the mask.
Even wen it comes off i try 2 hide emotions that r tryin to flow down the stream of the level changing of friendships turns 2 the next stage of holding hands nd sayin ILY. Its hardr than u think for me its opposite than talkin wit yr best freind bout the boy u really like, i iwsh i can jus go up 2 a grl that im engaging with real life intamate relations kiss her as nobody else is there b2ween classes.
Outside the mask is the feeling of rejection that surrounds my head constantly saying, "ur nt gud enough for her, u no that she cant be seen outside wit u wrappd round her body, u no that she's gona say no cuz she jus wanna be FRIENDS" bt i keep on trying 2 convince her of the true ideals of who i really am. Time nd time again the same answer flurishes my brain as i try 2 comprehend that mayb one day i can b with this goddess, yet i push myself away far from their beautifull eyes so i wont talk bout my inner thoughts. I wanna show them wats bhind this shield so they can see who i REALLY am, bt im scared of wat their gona think of my face for the first time.