Simplicity is not for me
Complexity seems to be in my destiny
The thing is I take nothing lightly
I make everything difficult in my path way
These are the words of one who feels sorry for oneself
Feels as if the world is against him
So he can’t trust anyone
So my guard must be up at all times
I lash out when you confront my wrongs
But quick to tell you your crimes
I allow no one on my side I have to look over my shoulder at all times
But it’s cool I’ll just be that loner type
Don’t need nobody’s going to get what I need
The most honest way I can get it
Yes this is an unnecessary struggle
My pride allows me to do this repeatedly making guilty of the crime of stupidity
I know this because I hear the sirens in my head
The police need to lock me up and throw away the key
So I can realize the errors of me
I must change my ways because I don’t want to die lonely
So stuck in my ways can’t even turn to my family living in a house where were suppose to be loved ones
but I turned them into individuals
In my mind the only thing holding us together was a last name
Pretty much pigeonholing them with a person in the street with the last name Carter or Williams
The saying say blood is thicker than water I laugh at it
I’m beginning to grasp it
But I’m starting to think it’s to late
And the only one who can exodus me from this soludious paranoia is Moses with the help of god
FORGET THAT
THAT’S MY OLD WAYS COMING BACK
Finding comfort in my misery
Or the fear of it using it to run from my problems
I do it so much you could call me a track star
Through writing this poem
I’m going to chain cinderblocks upon my feet and throw ay the key
So I’m force to stand still and face the trials before me
And there will be nothing but growth and a gaining o maturity in me
With all this needless pleading took me to a higher state of mind
And the cinder blocs I thought would help me
Was in actuality holding me back from forward movement
So I released myself in agreement with myself
To no longer hold myself back
And to leave this place of negativity
Allow myself to grasp my true potential
like a nuclear bomb of creativity that will detonate within me
And the only one who can free me from this self made bondage is GOD

Terrence T. Carter