::Love::

She’s there and we have sex sometimes,
But she might as well be wallpaper.

I don’t care if you are watching TV,
I insist on blow drying the dogs hair right here!

He loved me not! Why didn’t I just listen
To the damn flower petal and not my mother!
And now I’m stuck with this lying cheating ass!

The only thing I can say is you make my heart smile
You make my skies blue and my world move… I love you.

I hate you! For your nasty stankin’ draws
That I have to wash because I said “I do”.

Life without you has been horrible…
I cry in the shower cuz they say men don’t cry
I’m up to 3 showers a day.

I haven’t cried since he left… fuck ‘em
“Bartender”!

I hope you are wishing on the same star
I love you from afar but one of these days
I shall utter the words that haunt my night
Please, baby, look up at the stars.

I cheated because I could asked for forgiveness
Because I knew you would… “I love you” are just words
Fucking you is were the feelings lie.

I don’t hate you, its love I hate.
You couldn’t reciprocate the feelings
Why did I bother falling… now I’m just left
With this bump on my ass for tripping over you
I’m a damn fool for ever loving you.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you
Then meet in heaven and live out our eternity.

I can’t believe him! Use my damn car, drive out my gas
And not put a drop back in! But I love him!

She took my kids along with my heart
What’s joint custody when you want
To see them on a Tuesday.

He’s a deadbeat. Just another missing black father.

One night and I already hit it…
I hope she don’t expect marriage.

I fell in love from the inside out…
Your beauty was the icing to the cake
That is your heart.

Cheap bastard! Made me go half on Mcdonalds!

All I can think about is breast and thighs, like a chicken dinner
And the succulent lips, ahhh, I need to stop masturbating
And find me a girlfriend.

My mama told me! My mama told me,
But what did I do, marry her.

He can’t get it up, I told him I wouldn’t leave
But I have needs, so I made adjustments
And started sleeping with the neighbor
And now I think we're both happy.

She said ménage a trios and I said hell yeah!

I wanna make love not fuck.
But we fuck then I make the kids breakfast.

Is it wrong for me to have second thoughts about marriage
Right after the honeymoon?

It might be his baby so why bother tell him
And mess up a good thing.

He’s white and I’m not… and I can’t
Help smiling at the idea of a white penis,
Now this is really something new.

Sometimes I just want to shake the shit out of her
She never can get anything right!

I’m too old, tired, and lazy to do
Anything about him. Marriage don’t last for anybody
50% stay complacent the other 50 get out.

To say that I’ve met the man of my dreams
In this life is a miracle.

He thinks just cuz I’m his woman,
I’m supposed to do all that freaky shit…
But I told him, I only get on my knees to pray.

I’m celibate, so I went to a sex shop
Bought all these toys and come to find out
After the fact, they made in China.
So now until this medicine wear off,
I’m off toys too. Lead is no fun for the nani.

This is what all the love poems must feel like.