Night time falls again
Closing my eyes
Asking him to relieve me
Wondering why the simplest of quest go unanswered
Don't want these vile dreams and nightmares anymore
Can't handle the non-bonding grossed-out images to the immoral precocious development of self
Though I'm goodness in stature
My mental borders on the lines of processing procedural righteousness and embodied cognitive dark mysticism

This is the way I saw my existence as a child
Even still
Many years later I feel as empty as the day I was born
Plus being of no absolute value just confirms the tyrannical consequences to this imperfect abstract painting of soulless virtues
I've attempted to define the normality in relation to my smeared delusional damage property
Trying to make some sense of the life evolving before me
Has my situation's ecosystem conveying the worst
As the stock market controlling essential elements for entry level human requirements
Is crashing into the depths of severe depression
And even though I'm reaching out in search of dire needed assistance
I know that there will be no governmental aided financial emotional bailout

No matter what approach taken
My philosophical proposal for proper rest and inner peace will be to no avail
Overall, I'm not confronted with a quantity of the best choices
The greater number surrounding and confronting me are missed opportunities of miscalculated judgement
I am forever damned if I do and damned if I don't

So as night time falls again upon gloomy manifested dismal horizons once more
Folding aching hurting hands
With teardrops falling on un-therapeutic pillows
All I can pray for and look forward to is nothing

I guess writing about the impurity clustered concepts of solidified undesired disposition
Should make me feel better
But the scary truthful facts in expressing thoughts is realizing that I'm one step towards the end
I think I deserve atleast that much.........................